finding joy

Let me start by saying I am SO happy to be here. I got off track for a little, and I missed my community SO much. I will get into that in another blog BUT today I’m sharing how I found JOY!

Do you feel trapped? Lost in a sea of negativity and desperate for a way out? I remember seeing glimpses of happiness when I was at my lowest. I would find myself in moments where the sun was shining and my favorite song was on the radio and everything felt right. I would be smiling, but it wouldn’t last long. I’d go back to my anxious and depressed self. Incapable of functioning. I would spend HOURS sitting on the couch staring at the wall because I couldn’t bring myself to do anything else. This may sound crazy to some people but I know there are other humans out there struggling like I was.

The anxiety was triggering my eating disorder, I wasn’t sleeping right, and my skin was a wreck. I didn’t realize it wasn’t normal until my therapist pointed it out to me- and I found myself unable to remembered the last time I SMILED. Anxiety was taking over my life.

I had to get past it. Life is TOO DAMN SHORT. Not only that, but my health was declining. I started paying attention to my daily life and very quickly realized I was spending my days catering to other people in my life, filling their cups while mine was running on empty.

Pouring yourself into individuals that do not reciprocate is a low for anyone. Honey- you deserve so much more in life.

I started focusing on things that made me happy. Eating what made me happy. Spending time with people who made me smile- not cry. Surrounding myself with positivity. Romanticizing the little things that I love. Getting into a routine of things that make me feel good from the inside out- not things that bring me instant gratification.

Breaking toxic cycles is one of the hardest things I have ever done but I promise it is SO worth it. You will start to see the change. You can bring so much more value into the world when your cup is full.

You deserve the joy you try to give others.

Take care of yourself <3

xoxo

Ellie